iloveyou too much to hateyou. Three words, eight letters.iloveyou.

2011-11-26T20:07:00.000-08:00

Just friends. u dont know what i have been through huh. i rejected him because of you and now you are giving me this just friends. k can.
it has been a while ever since i cry myself to sleep. and it hurts alot to be thinking back of what you said "arent we just friends?"
just friends then stop writing in the stupid diary.
just friends then dont messaging me.
just friends then then. Dont bother liking me.. cause no matter how much we like each other. it aint gonna to work out right? yeah. should i thank you for the constant reminder that we are only friends? and only to be friends?

now. i should stop texting u. remember. it aint because i stop caring about you. it was because you said we were only friends. u said.

i really have been through shit.
but in the end. i thought i really am blessed to have u . i mean i have.
but it actually turns out you aint mine.

remember that time i ask if you if we will last? u said YES. we will. but right now. both of us are giving up. it hurts to see both of us like this yknow. just friends.
friends then u wouldnt even be texting me right.

something tells me you dont want to be just friends. but what was it man?
what was it that makes u say that we are only friends?

i dont know.
i am really confused

we both need time

wwjd?

2011-11-26T19:28:00.001-08:00

LOL. can you tell me what is this, Kent.
I don't know what you want to do yknow.
Ohyah?
Something personal so can't share it with me. So the distance between us is still so far that we have to keep personal stuff to ourselves?
Hhahaha.
And really. Right after I send u that message uyestetday.
You didnt reply and true enough. Today you didn't even bother to take the iniciative to text me a morning or whatsoever.
I am really very tired. But not physically. I am tired of us.
Tired of the fact that it was always me that texts you first. Tired that you always gave me one word replies. Yeah, I know. I know. We are friends. But then, if really you wanted us to be friends, you wouldn't be even texting me. You are giving me the don't care atttude. And I really hate it yknow.
Today service, didn't even bother to talk to me. What is this .
And you sat with your lifegroup, with that new girl believer. Yeahyeah. Happy chatting with her. Even taking pictures with her. So what is next, telling me you are falling for her? That is what I am gone through. I really hope it ain't the same thing AGAIN.

You really don't know. How much I have ever gone through to like a guy once over again. How hurtful is it to see. You being like the old brendan, am I a fool or what. What for liking a different person yet being hurt the same way again.
It took me two years. Two years yknow. No. You don't.

I ain't going to message u today. If you ain't gonna message me first today.

I will know the outcome of our "friendship". I will know what to do.

2011-11-25T08:34:00.001-08:00

Why am I feeling all these when you are constantly reminding me that we are only to be friends ?

2011-11-25T08:20:00.001-08:00

I am starting to think that it was just a game for you. For once, I really wanna see how much you care. But maybe, if one day, we're gonna lose each other. Perhaps you don't even give a damn about it. It ain't going to change you.

It was just another brendan's story.
I was just going through the same old stuff. And whats new.

2011-11-25T08:06:00.001-08:00

Personal huh. Kkkk. Can. So are you hinting me next time I should just keep something from u ? K.

2011-11-25T08:05:00.001-08:00

I really want to delete everything about you.

2011-11-15T08:33:00.001-08:00

Are you ignoring me because you dont want us to go further ? Or are you ignoring me because of the same reason as brendan.

2011-11-12T06:09:00.000-08:00

hey.
remember you told me you were feeling bad and sorry towards me?
i dont want you to feel that way kays!
HAHHA.
remember we were friends? HAHA.
i mean like. not saying that you shouldnt message me!
but haha, like i dont know ley.
maybe like dont want you to feel this burden and like you must message me at least once per day or something. like yknow. since that you made it clear that we are friends. then friends wouldnt feel sad and sorry yeah?
HAHAH.
yeah.
but if you are asking what can you do to feel better towards me! i think hehe, is that, come to talk to me k!
cause yeah.
i dont think we realy appear to be like friends in real life ah?
HAHAH.
yeah.
so, come talk to me! :D

2011-11-12T05:42:00.000-08:00

heyy.
i didnt know what to tell you really mann.
cause frankly speaking, i dont know what are we, yeah?
what if i ask you, hey, what are we?
are we friends?
are we more than friends?
yeah, i am clear, we are friends.
so, we are friends that like each other? that texts each other? that dont wanna get together?, friends that dont even act like friends when we sees each other?

everything is getting weird.
havent you realize?
you dont text me, you dont even bother replying.
you said you felt bad towards me. i dont want you to feel that. because i dont want you to feel that it is a need and a must that you must message me. havent you know? you used to text me because you want to. because you want to know more about me.
but now, nothing.
i know i must have faith in God, and i must know what is good for me.
but you must know, i am nothing more than just a normal girl.
so what if i know you like me? when you dont text me. i dont know what to feel.
i feel that you dont care anymore. like treating this just like a stupid game.
i really wanna tell you everytime. but when you messages back, everything that i have in my mind vanish. like i dont know how. but i couldnt bear to say it to you.
like why?

you told me you like me more. you told me you felt bad. you said upteen sorries, but boy, all you did was saying. i want you to prove it to me that you care.
i dont need you to show me in real life that you care. but all i need was you to drop a message sometime and tells me.

it happens to a sad story of mine that whenever i looked back our conversation, i cries. HAHA.

boy. you dont know how much it took me to like a person once again. that feeling, was once so carved by me. but now. you are proving it.
remember why i broke up with brendan? you said you dont want to be like him. but now .
you are proving to me the same thing.
i just dont want things to end up the same.

when he shepherds you. i told you something is changed. you told me we still can talk like the past. but now. tell me what is changing .
was it you. or was it me .

but for whatever happens. i am holding on to God's words. i am holding on to the faith. i am holding on to everything he had brought me through. cause i know, when God brings me to something. he will gets me through it.

-gonna stay strong!-

2011-11-02T07:25:00.001-07:00

You know what I was thinking. Thinking too much. Yeah. I guess so. You went out with her to the movies today. Remember, what else did you message me except for morning today? I cannot feel it anymore, boy. I cannot feel it anymore. I have been feeling like you don't care anymore. Why like this ? You said you don't want to be the reason why I wanted to break up with my ex. But now you are doing it ! Really, boy. You understand ? I might be telling you and just showing you that we are friends. But boy. I am just a ordinary girl. I need to be showered with love. And have you ver done that for me ? What if one day , you fall for her and you tell me. Would I be happy to tell you, oh, I am glad you found your girl. Or what else can I sayy.
Don't make me do the same, don't make history repeat.

2011-11-01T07:46:00.001-07:00

I came to think that maybe our relationship was nothing but just a routine. You are becoming like him. I just hope the ending ain't the same .

2011-11-01T06:32:00.001-07:00

You are not at Mac and not with her. Where can you be?

2011-10-31T06:55:00.001-07:00

Hey! You told me you feel sad not texting me , and guess what. You didn't text me for the whole day today. I wonder what excuses are you gg to give me tomorrow , phone battery dead. Or I put my phone in my bag. Seriously, whatever . ):

2011-10-29T17:16:00.001-07:00

I still Care. But by what you are doing , I don't think you care.

2011-10-29T17:15:00.001-07:00

So what are you trying to proof by not messaging me for two days?

2011-10-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

i dont know what is all this chemical reactions getting over me in my body.
i am feeling all kinds of feelings.
i wanted to tell you this but i held back.
do you know i cried?
probably not, why? because i went to look at the past messages. and i just cried.
it is probably foolish. but boy, those messages used to brighten up my whole day and make me smile. but now? we dont have anything like the past anymore.
it hurts so much to see this.
and i cares so much. i really wanted you to study. but you went to ply around with other people. i feels like i am nagging you. and i thought you probably wouldnt like it. so i just stopped. and all my concerns and stuff just stopped sending but inside my head, i would be worrying.
but i dont feel it anymore. i dont feel that you needed me to text you. i dont feel that you wanted more than just being friends. i dont feel that kind of feeling from you. notanymore. i want to find it back. but i am lost.
hey, have you realized it was always me that texts you firtst, whether is it in the morning or at night. it feels like i am the one keeping the conversation alive.
and you dont text me at all in the afternoon, where you are out playing at macdonalds with the guys.
i feels insignificant. as if i dont make a difference in your life anymore. i feels that you cares more of your friends than me.
i cared. but did you?
it kills me, do you know that?
probably not.
i gave myself reasons and more reasons why certain times you are not free? but the next moment i know how much i am joking with myself.

you promised me that you will buck up and go to express stream, but out always, playing, and not studying? is that what you can do to prove to me?
i always thought what i wanted might be too much. but. i really dont know how to say it to you.
i want all tht concern words back.
i dread how , you can text me just a couple of messages and go to sleep, and it hurts so much to think how we can sms through the night.
i didnt say it to you. but do you understand what i am feeling?
if not, please do.

confused.

2011-10-01T01:09:00.001-07:00

I don't know what are we now, it is like, ok fine, we like each other, but we are unable to get into a relationship, what's more, we keep texting. What is this? Can you tell me ? Maybe not. I realize everything is more than it seems. I am confused, now I am even more confused about all this little confusion you are giving me.

2011-09-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

I want us to be back as how we was. But right now, I think it seems pretty much impossible. I was always anticipating for a reply that will make a diff. But. Perhaps not now.

:(

new but old.

2011-09-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

writing here today was because i dont wanna vent my sadness at twitter and tomorrow people will be coming to ask me, what happen?! ahaha. here, it is quieten. no ones really know. not alot of my friends at least.
ahha. have you guys been updated?
yeah. my mind is clear of brendan. but now, i aint happy.
after brendan relationship's i was
afraid. very much afraid the words that guys say when they go after girls.
i didnt forget brendan for the past 2 years.
how long? 730 days. hahha.woah right?
yeah. during that two years, i rejected guys, feel for them. but they aint strong as those i have for brendan.
but recently, i met this guy. i actually feel some feelings for him. the first thing i did was. pray. i prayed to god. i ask him, hey. i dont want to get hurt again. i dont want to cry over stupid stuff. i dont want to anticipate. i dont want to enjoy those beautiful moments and grieve over them. but i told god that if it was meant to be, i agree. if you want to put him in my life and let him have a significant place in my heart, go ahead.
maybe because i was too hurt in my past relationship. he was the first guy i feel for after those two years of misery. first guy! i thought. ahh, no, not going to be the same is it? crying, grieving, repeating the same old story.
i said , i am going to be fine. he aint going to like me anyways. no, he aint.
so i actually thought i would be able to get over this new guy after some time if he doesnt talk to me. but darn, we talked to twitter. exchanged numbers. and text.
in time, i found out he liked me too. i thought. ohh, why like this god? was this part of your plan?
i struggled. because i thought, hey god, this is a church, i dont want to go to church because of him. notice him. feels butterflies. and then one knock and down i go, crying and grieving, i told myself no. i shouldnt be doing all these. those tears for brendan is more than enough and i dont want to cry over another guy now. i dont to feel those pretty sweet moments and get hurt for another year or so. and perhaps. i dont want to go any deeper because i am not sure of my feelings.
it was a temptation. and i fall for it. and i always fall. true?

we didnt really got into bgr. thank goodness.
but we were really close to that. sweet messages, sms during classes. he has the ability to make me smile just using a message. and when he didnt message me, i would just think like. oh, was it because he dont like me already?

i swallowed every and each of my fear. every night. happy or sad, he has the control.

yesterday, something happened.
i expected it.
he sends me the longest message , 3 or 4 senctence, and it was about maybe to me, putting a stop to everything.
woah, it was fast, because i totally breakdown at that very moment. why?
i dont know.
i told myself.kohyi, shouldnt you already expected this? are you stupid or silly? doesnt brendan relationship with you gives you fear? why are you so stupid to go for another one? why are you always so dumb and falling for all ? and why are you crying now? you dont deserved to cry.
i talked to god last night. telling him, ehye god, why am i crying? i dont blame you, i know you place every person in my life for a reason, but god, i dont want this. i dont want to cry like i am lost my life. i dont want to experience all this all over again. it is finally for once i wouldnt cry for a guy. and you sent me him.
god, give me a clear sign. tell me what to do.

i cried myself to sleep. and scolding and blaming myself for the same reason.
today i went to school in the morning and i just breakdown. crying again. how i hate myself for crying like a mad cow. it stopped. but somehow, i feels like crying, even right now.

what are we now? i told him i was scared and afraid to lose him. but he said i aint gonna lose him. but i already did. didnt i ?
we still liked each other. but i fear now. future. present.
i am trying my best to put emotions in my message to him now. because i want to cry so badly, i know he is trying to minimize the hurt done.

if i hasnt had you. i wouldnt go through the pain and worrying about losing you.
i shouldnt even have had you in the first place. tell me what to do now.

:(,
i never learn.

2011-09-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

You said I would never cry for you. What is this thing rolling down my cheeks?
It is not the same anymore
.
Silly girl. Why did you believe.

He has the best plans

2011-08-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

dear, daddyGod,
i am sinful.
help me to get over all these stupid feelings that i have been going through.
yeah?
i dont want to like him.
i dont want to keep anticipating for his message and asking myself why doesnt he message me?
and looking forward to go to chruch for his sake!
no, i dont want to!
i want to go to chruch to worship you!
and not just to communicate to him.
dear lord, i dont want to.
i really dont want to.
save me from all these desires.

2011-08-08T04:04:00.000-07:00

ohhh hiii!:D
HAHHHAHA.
hehhe.
hasnt post for long.
was like exactly 1 month from last month!
hahha. what do you want to hear?
i dont know.
HAHHA.
hmmmphhh.
one thing.
i changed totally. might be only a little .
but haha.
OHHHKAY.
i kinda of feel a feeling towards this guy.
not saying who. but. hhahha.
then i struggled.
because it is like. yeah you know.
so, actually. it is like.
a big complication to me.

yeapp.
i hasnt figured it out yet.
but yeah.
my feelings are like dangling all over.
whattheshitisthat.
hahha.
yeahhhh!
LOL.
I THINK I AM CRAPPING IT.
but i dont care.
yeahh.
LOL.
whether i can complicate things anot.
it is another matter.
now i dont know what i am talking.
hahha.
shall stop.

loves,
ky.(:

2011-07-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

my last post was actually 1 month ago. and a few more days!
HAHHA.
ALOT OF THINGS HAVE HAPPEN.
just that i am lazy and perhaps busy to blog it.
i uses twitter now.
WAKAKAK.
hahha.

brendan is living his life well enough right now.
friends, fame.
he has got everything.
maybe now what he needs is just a girl that understand him.

and i am not the one.
is like. knowing someone in your life, someday, they will have this special someone beside them. but it just tear you down knowing it is not you.
same.
but blessing is much more important than that.
i thought of changing schools. but i didnt voice out my ideas though.

today went for dance. and saw him inside the dance studio, he didnt even take a look at me. i was trying and still trying to keep myself out of his sight. and him out of my sight. but anywyas. hope that dont happens.

beloved,
chloeee

2011-06-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

helllloooo:D
a dissapointment!
PEOPLE.
i am feeling jealous all over again again and again! :C.
cause recently, brendan has this camp and all the class CC members are suppose to go.
they were all seperated into groups.
and i asked kelly, who was involved in the camp.
how was him?
LOL.
and she said, she went quite close to a girl.
then i am like...
laughing a fake smile.
LOL.
and then i went to his facebook.
a girl said thanks for your wrist.
i was puzzled.
wrist?
wrist what?!
LOL.
i didnt know what was that.
and so, i asked kelly.
kelly said.
the nightwalk.
and brendan lend his wrist to her.
for holding.
i was like....
OH OKOKAYE.
i admit i was really really jealous.
but then.
WHO THE SHIT WAS I TO FEEL JEALOUS?!
I WASNT HIS GIRLFRIEND?!
I WAS JUST A STRANGER!
LIKE A SHIT, ISNT IT ?!

ANYWAY.
WAS A SHORT POST.
WATCHINGWATCHINGWATCHING SOME ONLINE SHOWS(:

CHLOE:D
KY.
6JUNE
MONDAY.

2011-06-03T03:06:00.001-07:00

hellooo:d
it has been really long since i blogged?
HAHHA.
LOL.
something bad happened last night.
i was carrying hot soup when one auntie banged me . and i toppled the soup and my hand now is blister-ing.
LOL.
still recovering from pain though.
but it kinda of stop me from going out.
since it was such a hassle.
LOL.
and yepp.
i think God really helps me manxzc.
HAHHHHHA.
he helps me by making me learn to forgive and forget.
butbutbut.
what makes me real mad was that the auntie didnt say sorry!
argh.
but still.
i forgived(:
HAHHHA.
and yeah.
results was good.
got all As except for a B.
hahha.
6As.
5 position in class and 6 in level,
over 198 people yeah ?
express.
i would say it was kinda of good.
though i am still not satisfied:C
HAHHA.
people's birthday are coming!
i am like OMG.
what am i going to do manxzc.
HHHAHHA.
really. ky has run out of ideas luhxzc!
LOL.
this june holidays is really not going to br fulfiling.
causee mostly outings and stuff is making my mind crazy.
i am suppose to really study though.
and a week passed. and it clearly didnt make me wanna study much.
HAHHHAHA.

anyways.
things has been going quite well?
i didnt looked at him as i walked past his class.
i didnt purposely go up the floor and looked for him.
but still, my hearts grieves an emptiness.
but what can i do ?
i have been having nightmares.
of that, he would go with another girl.
i dont wanna think about it no more.
i am not going to do other stuff.
i just wanna be myself.
and yeah.
i am not going to accept any further guys.
partially is because my heart was taken.
but another, might be that...
i dont think i could really trust any guys with my heart now.
alot of things happened. and i dont wanna cry again.
i hasnt cried for long!
except for yesterday when the freaking hot soup toppled and i drop A TEAR.
one drop only:D

i guess all these has made me strong.

God has better plans for me.
i believe(:

ky.
6.17pm
3rdjune2011
friday(:

2011-05-21T04:37:00.000-07:00

helloooo:D
finally got a chance to use my com and blog.
HAHHAHAHHA.
was kinda of happy these few days :D
my results were GOOD.
REAL GOOD.
hahha.
got 6 As out of seven subjects :D
YAYYY!:D.
immediately told my parents, and they were over the moon:d
HAHHHA.
LOL.
anyways, for him, didnt know.
i only wanted to know his maths.
but seems like nobody can tell me .
for me the maths paper was pretty easy.
so, SHOULD be DAMN easy for him.
:D
aiyahhh:d
obviously:d
HAHHHHAHAHHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHA.
but when i asked his friends, his friends said he did quite badly, which obviously i didt buy it.

but still HAIIIZ.
i am saving from chruch camp!:D need 70 bucks.
HAHHA.
saved half of it !:d
HEHEHHEE:D

i am still remembering him. but hey, i am better from the past.
yuh. after two years somemore.
._.
i didnt went up his class and look at him.
and i didnt especially go look for him!:D
yay:D

HAHHAHAHAHHHHHHHAHAHHA.

ANYWYAS!:D
SORRY FOR NOT BLOGGING(:

CALL ME CHLOE:D

KY, CHLOE.
21MAY2011
7.50PM
SATURDAY.

2011-05-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

HELLLOOO :X
my last post was 30 apr.
so, was kinda of lasgging behind yeah?
HAHHA.
LOL.
i dont reply the tags is because i know they are doing pure ad, whatever the commenting. shitty.
ANYWAYS.

WAS really busy with exams these few weeks and yepp.
finally done with it and currently enjoying my holidays,
dont think it is enjoying though.
CAUSE THERE IS NOTHING MUCH BETTER TO DO:C.
muhhaha.

yepp.
today i went to have my piano lesson, and went to kopitiam and eat with mamma.
was shocked when i saw a guy that looked exactly like brendan, from side view.
then i am like. oh, walk past me again, i wanna see if it is really you.
cause that guy seems to be a little fatter and maybe shorter.
then when he walked past again, i then can confirm that it wasnt him.
i was shocked too. yeah.
HAHHA.
alot of things happened this few days.
me and brendan is just two strangers, not much of change.
YUHH.
sooo. hmmph.
it is just him with his colourful world,
and me with my emo elmo.
LOL.
HAHHHA.

LOL.
yuhh.
love him lots:D

2011-04-30T09:27:00.001-07:00

Yuhhhh! Sorry for not posting! Was damn busy with exams:D
Yepppopps.
And Yuhhhhhh. Today I went to Chruch. And had a long day with friends! Was damn freaking fun and we learned LOT bout each other and yuuhhhh. Ermmm.
Me and jasjas actually wanted to buy marshmallows to play this game to see who can stuff more marshmallows in their mouth without chewing or swallowing any of it LUHHHXZC:D
Then was walking to minions when I saw BRENDAN. I am like?! What the shit?! I am totally screwed! Cause I go smart Alex and put the don't know what on my hair and then looks like SCREWED MANXZC.
Yuh. He looked at me and I am like 'WHATTHE?!' yuhhhhhhh. He is in white shirt and Yuhhhhhh. Went back and walked the same way, hoping to see him again. But only his brothers are around.

I am suppose to forget you and freaking move on.

2011-04-15T05:30:00.000-07:00

yorhs:D
HAHHA.
REALLY WAS DAMN HAPPY TODAY .
BUT WAS QUITE SAD IN THE MORNING.
i was happy fun with clau and others. when lousia told me that did anyone tell me bout bteo in class today ?
i was like. NO ? why? what happen?
then she told me brendan fought with this guy and then nose bleed.
i was like . WHAT THE SHIT ? BRENDAN NEVER FIGHTS TILL SO SERIOUS.
thenn. i was like damn worried luhxzc. cause i dont know the reason of that they fought.
thenn >.<.
after school, went to canteen and eat with shu hui:D
and then jeremy and zachary came by and sat on our table.
and took my phone to play:D
LOL.
i was like.. finee. as long as they dont run away with the phone. then brendan came and look for them.
i expected brendan to not bother them as i was there. and i expected him to walk away.
but he didnt.
he paused at the table.
and talked to zach.
thennn.
he went to but drink and came back and comment jeremy while he is playing angry bird.
LOL.
then later he played with my phone
LOL.
i dont know if he know that it was my phone..
but then he sat down over there and play and talked and laugh together with me and shu hui:D
i was like..
when was the last time when things become so nice and perfect?
very long very long ago.
we never really had alot of chance. and now.
that perfect timing, he came to my world.
that distance between us is so small that i can see his dimples so clearly:D.
the distance was small, but to me. it was big.

i went to the plsatic thingiee.
then i was being wrapped up ! using cling wrap.
as they keep saying i am the one with the figure..
><.
the outcome was kinda of lousyyy >,< . but was fun.
i was drenched with sweat:D

kyy:D

kohyii(:

2011-04-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

yorhs(:
TODAY WAS QUITE PERHAPS VERY FUNN LUHHXZC:D
jasmin was sick this few days.
miss her lots:D
her randomness and stuff!:D
this morning, was kinda of funn!:D
was doing the tradition of tickling in the parade square when they suddenly all started attacking me. then i kept on moving backwards and swaying me arms away then I banged into somebody. then i looked back. wanted to say sorry. when i realised it is brendan teo!
he was moving backwards too luhxzc. HAHHA.
then i was like. quickly went away. his classmates all went ohhhh.
and so does mine.
>.<"
HAHHA.

then after school, saw bibiana and was like. saw brendan teo sitting with himself. then i asked bibiana to go and talk to him.
i bet she talked bout me.>.<
which i OBVIOUSLY dont want to! :D .
thennn. me and bibiana went round and round the table cause we were talking bout schoo life and stuff . SO FUN:D
then i went for my livegroup.
THEN THE thunder and lightning and rain never fails to make me scream >.<.
then after that, was preparing to goo maccc.
then i went down.
i saw CHERYL AND CLAUCLAU. so i went to them.
then brendan's friend started pushing brendan to me.
i was like.. talk talk talk. then i scream cause i knew they are getting close. thenn i talk and went off. bibiana was also like.. ehh ! kyky ! HAHHA. funny max.
LOL.

i tried very hard not to remind and do anything that is related to you.
i tried so hard that now i couldnt even concentrate.
i knew i am way too stress. but i can never get my eyes off you.

2011-04-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

@ >.<
heey. If you are a hater Of my blog. I think you are the one that has no life. So shut up and get a life. I am so NOT BOTHERED by your comments.
You are just commenting to let me know how awesome my blog is to make you jealous and come comment. I am not a loser. Nobody is a winner. Not even you dude.

2011-04-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

found this quote on twitter, was wondering if it is i am the one that is thinking way too much or is it just the truth to brendan ?
" i've finally figured it out, you are avoiding me because you cant face it. you like me and it scares you doesnt it ? "
found on loveQuotesx.
it is true ?
that yesh he likes me and dont dare to tell me and because it scares him because of the fact he likes me ?

or IS IT FALSE THAT
HE DOESNT LIKE ME AND ALL THOSE THAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING IS JUST BEING THROWN TO THE RUBBISH BIN?

People, maybe you guys tells me what to do ? i am seriously bored of waiting knowing that even though there wil be rainbow and sunshine ahead. and i am living in the world of storm by waiting for you.
WHY DIDNT I MOVED FORWARD?
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, AND STILL DO.

2011-04-06T08:29:00.001-07:00

Ehhh!:D today was kinda of fun? :D HAHHHA:D! Ermmmm! Went up and down the stairs just to see my friends in 1 char and 1 faith and sincerity(: LOL! :D today recess, went up to sin then later went pass char then hugged Louisa(playinggg) then later SHE PULLED ME INTO 1 CHAR! Don't know whether it is to be happy or not happy. I tried to overcome their might. But they have Claudia and jasmin and louisa herself to pulled me siahh! Unfair much! Brendan smiled and tried to threaten them by saying get out or else I report you. I found it kinda cute. Because he was laughing away while saying that. HAHHHA:D MAKES ME WANNA LAUGH!(: then they pulled me to his table, brendan then sat onto his partner chair. Obviously avoiding me! :D then Louisa asked me to sit down int he chair for a secoda before she let me go. Then I kinda of touched the chair for half a second and said I did it! :D LOL! they are like then giving me -.- face! :D HAHHHA:D then they took brendan's pencil case and bag infront of me and brushed it against my skin and asked me to hold. Then I was like ehhh brendan pencil case diff! THEN I LET OUT A SHITT. I shouldn't have said that! :D then breast tried scaring us off by saying MR YEO COME ALRDY. then I repeat after him, hoping to scare them away! Then after that, Louisa pulled me back again and the history of not more than 5 min ago repeat! :D LOL!

Was fun but heart was thumping fast when I am standing either near him or his things. No one could explain this kinda of feeling. It is like, top of the world?

HAHHHA. Louisa posted something on her blog then it really like gives me the strength to continue loving luhxzc. But is like. I do have times when I really feels hopeless and then like. Ehh ky, give up luhxzc. But she, louisa, a friend that keeps on giving me hope. Is there for me, so I WIll be. Strong(:

Kohyii's:D

2011-04-05T03:51:00.000-07:00

it has been a week since i last posted:D.
HEHHE.
THOUGHT it was going to a month if i hasnt start posting.
yeppp.
ermmm.
i think i kinda of miss out alot of things in these eight days.
soo i think i will talk about the recent one?:D
HAHHA.
yesterday went to all secondary classes because my malay teacher wanna me pass somethings to the teacher.
so as usual, i had to go into 1 charity. which is brendan class.
hmmmph.
but as i went in, the boys and the girls go . BRENDANNNN~~~~~.
meaning to tease him.so, i went away as quickly as possible so as to end the teasing.
LOL.
but when i asked my friends, they said i am blushing. so is brendan.
bout brendan. i dont know.
but they said he was wearing a wide smile on his face(:

as lessons get boring and boring, i begin to write things on a paper(:
i wrote this
POSITIVE~ louisa told me that when ever people broughts up my name infront of brendan, brendan will smile and turned the subject.
~ when she pulled me to brendan. brendan turned away and escaped at the sight of me.
~ rummor started between me and brendan. but when people asked him bout it. he didnt denied. but obviously it is not true:D

NEGATIVE~ why doesnt he even bother to give me a reply when so many people asked?

wait poeple. the problem i am seriously facing is. whyy?
i am like in between a line of yes and no?!
the girls in 1 char tells me real positive thing. i mean like it is not like i seriously will believe. but i can still feel something. just something from him, it is a feeling. it tells me that he cares. but was it my own thinking? because after so many times. i doubt it is true. but when people asked. he said no. when i asked, he didnt bother to reply. WHY?

i wanted to tell myself, EHH. ky. seriously? 2 years? that is freaking enough. hasnt he hurt you enough? i tried to convince my self to forget him. even after knowing it is impossible. i wanted to go out with other people. but i dont want to hurt them.
i dont know if i will last long.
i only know. if time can cure this pain. i couldnt wait longer.
Curing it is the only way for me to live my life.
not living in the name of you. but in God's.

kohyii.

kohyii.

2011-03-28T04:32:00.001-07:00

Today wasnt that of very awesome too!
Sorry for not posting uh! :C. Homework and project(: today, school was off really early! At 11.40am! :D MUHAHAHHA!
Yayyy!(: but got malay programme, in which we all ha to learn Malay(:
Then, during the FREE TIME!(: I went around the school. And I went into brendan's classroom, of coz, he wasn't inside!(: or else? I wouldn't have went there!(: MUAHHHA(: was chatting with Louisa and nicol, and then brendan came in and hold onto the door so his friend can't come in, he was smiling away and playing but I think that is because he didn't know I am inside the classroom! (: then louisa pulled me outside to the classroom, then brendan was like looking at me then turned away quickly.
We had a few eye contact, but all these is nothing to him anymore.
Then I saw my classmates and i played with them outside their classroom. Hope to catch his attention but after 1min, I gave up totally. because I isn't even understand whyy am I doing that?! LOL. Then yuhhh....
I walked away back to my class.

Things are different now, what forever is to be, is now over.
I am erasing him from my life by accepting the truth that he is not going to be inside it any longer.

Accepting truth, erasing you.

Kohyii(:

2011-03-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

I hate today to the extremely max!
:C.
Our classroom changed with another classroom! :/
Somemore is like downgraded one floor and to the other extreme side lurhxzc! They say is because ms dot injured her leg! Which is my English teacher. But seriously, nobody is my class likes her teaching and somemore, when she really entered the classroom, she is walking perfectly alright! And fast! Somemore the class that changes with us also don't likes it as well! I am like what the hell. She wanna teach 1 hum then come and teach us where we are more comfortable mah! :C.
Hate her lesson to the really very maximum! :C.
Alright. But actually the real reason is because I am all separated with all my other friends.now that I am at the second floor. And they are at the third floor, it is harder for me to go an look for them! :C. And I cannot purposely walk past brendan class and look at him. And other classes and friends too luhxzc. Not only himmm. But is like.... Damn it luhxzc.... Then today and every coming days, I am going to walk the long way to each and every lesson just so that I will walk past his class!:D MUHAHAHHA. Am I a stalker?! Oh Noooooooooooooo! :C
But yuhhh. Today,I walked the long cut to music lesson with Nat.
Then When we walk past his class, he came out with kianhuang. That yuhh. I was like. End of looking! :C. But after that they followed us. I asked them what for? Don't they have class? They say. Music class. Then I am like. I am having it dude! :/.

Then he was like following us till music room! With brendan. Cuss he pulled him along. I saw brendan smiling here and then. But I dont dare to think much bout it.
But Natasha said that he changed, in the sense that last time whenever I am around him, he will be like. Emoing. But just now, he was smiling and playing with kianhuang while kian Huang was following us. And he didn't even made an attempt to struggle to go back to class.
What does that means?!

Kohyii!:D
11.30pm
Monday- 21/03/11

2011-03-17T02:49:00.000-07:00

i am ready to move on, let go of everything and run. but there is always this little shred of well, maybe, he will want me tomorrow. you know?

2011-03-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a week since I last post. Has it?
LOL. Alright ermmmm. What do you guys wanna know?
I still hasn't give the guy that confessed a answer though.
I am stil thinking through.
A few nights ago, jeremy called me. He told me that brendan still likes me. I don't know. I couldn't deny that I don't have bait of feeling. Because yeah. I do care. He says he changes a bit. I guess. Is that because he still likes me. Or. Haha. He don't care?
I don't know. Things has been quite good since the guy confessed appear. But but but. I know I don't think of brendan that often. But sometimes, he just popped out in my mind out of the sudden and became the topic of my day.
Almost everything. Like hmmm. Like me and brendan got this song. And we known it as our song. The last time. But when the guy that confessed play that song to me. I think of brendan. Then I thought that at that point of time. Reject. But then.... I really want to forget brendan. The problem is. I tried.
Another thing. I posted in fb. That 'if I said I still love you, will you come back to me?' I get positive response. They asked me to try. Who knows the outcome? I feel happy. I did feels like trying! But. Courage? No, I don't have.
Courage to look into his eyes? NO. I don't have.
I really don't know what else can I seriously hope for...
Help me.

Kohyii:D

2011-03-10T06:27:00.001-08:00

guys:D keep visiting okk?D:. my stats decrease alot. after 2010 december!:C.
from 695 to 315 and 219 and 125! UHH:c

2011-03-10T06:15:00.001-08:00

it has been a week girls!:D
HAHAHA.
sorry!:D apologies!:D
i was realy budy with school and dance and stuff.
yeppp:D
i hasnt gave him a reply. just yet.
i am confused.
cause. on 14 feb, valentines, as known.
i gave brendan something.
and when claudia went to ask brendan whether he throw it away.
he gave an exclaim NO.
and then when claudia asked me where did he keep it.
he said, why must i tell you anyways.
claudia has been hanging with brendan alot of days.
and i suppose she really told him alot of things.
obviously. she would bring up the topic about me.><
HAHAHA.
LOL.
the guy that confessed has been really good to me.
we webcam and we talk everyday SMS.
and yuh..
how?
i want to give him a yes as soon as possible.
i am trying hard.
but it is him, brendan teo. that made my heart and mind ran like crazy.
i admit i dont really like him as much as before.
but when people talk bout brendan teo, i will still find myself listening to them and asking them to say more. or when he is around. i will find my heart beating faster.
and i am extremely confused!!~.
i know that my blog is like.. all bout brendan. so if if if if if, i really start a new relationship. i guess i just have to end this blog. and maybe create another link?:D
tomorrow is report card's day:D and last day of term 1.
OMG. finally i can have 1 week of holiday:D
i am sure going to make good use of it:D MUHAHHA.

i realised that readers have not gone!:D HAHHAH. thank you so much:D but as i, myself read my own post. i really dont find anything interesting. but. yuh. thanks guys, so so much(:

with lurves,
kohyii, keep reading!:D
coming back soon(:

2011-03-03T02:56:00.000-08:00

helloo. busy with school dance and almost forgotten bout blogging. yepp. hope it is going to keep alive!:D
on 1 march. one guy from one class of hihs confessed to me. but me and him are really good friends. we had been close. but sseriously. being with him really never cross my mind.
he is a really good guy. but. my blog has 700 postes bout brendan. so naturally. brendan is the concern.
can i forget him and accept the guy?
i dont want to accept because i scared i will not be able to forget brendan. and if i really be with him. it is unfair to him. and i dont wish to be looking for brendan's shadows in him. i know i hasnt completely forget brendan. and i dont know if i am strong enough to accept the fact that he dont like me the next time.
i know i am not strong enough to fight through the suffering but
should i accept him. and give him a chance as well as give myself a chance?
i dont know.. if i accept him.. i dont know how i will feel the next time if people says bout brendan stuff in front of me.
i dont want to be with him well loving brendan.
i dont want him and i to be hurt..
so what is the best solution.
i dont want to give a reply just yet because i hasnt even make up my mind.
brendan or him?
yeah. i know people will say " i think you should accept him. see, brendan also dont like you liaoo" or blahblah. but how? it is not about him liking me anot but whether if i like him anot. if i can forget him in then the point.

i might. and might not.

kohyii.

2011-02-28T02:17:00.000-08:00

i guess. real love at age 13 really exist(:
zachary and her is such a good example(:
maybe i should start believing in love again?
although, failure does comes it ways.

so many many many work to do. and it is freaky killing me.
bought assemments. that is double kill.
heard of it?
no, why? cause i randomingly created it:D
HAHHA.
suddenly feel jealous over one guy?
guess that is because he is long long long years friend?(:
HAHHA.

guess what, i am so not over you.

kohyii.

2011-02-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

TRALALAS.
for 3km run today. i ran 6th position of all secondary 1 girls(:
AWESOME MUCHH(:
LOL.
HAHAHA.
ANDDD.
yepp.
was quite surprised why he didnt get to the top ten for boys:/
thenn. during the race.
they are decieving me!:(
they keep telling me from one point to another. ehh! it is just right infront. faster faster!!! then i am like. CHOING UH! but later. still got so many luh. then i am like. waolao eh. cheat my feelings:(
LOL.
after that, saw jasmin and claudia. thenn. they suggested me going to the live group.
it is like talking of god and playing games(: damn fun. but before that. i went to the ermmmm. HOME. HOME SWEET HOME.
mMUHAHHA. i am sweating like i am in a hot desert luh!><
thenn yuh. then went to bathe(: and i changed and i went for live group.then one question they ask is this week, thank god for one thing of him expressing his love to me. then i said "i thanked god for making kohqing which is my sister appear in my life luh. thenn.. even though we like agruee alot. but we can never like.. stop cam whoring and all those. then she is like expressing care and concern to me in alot of her ways and i thank god for letting her to come and tell me something about god and make me a christian which is totally cool!:D:D:D"
after that. me jas and clau went to compass. then they keep saying they are sleepy and want to sleep. then i am like. dont sleep, at least not now.
i dragged them from sleeping mode to like 6pm.
then i went to toilet. not because i want to use the toilet, but because i seriously want to sit down. cause my dad is not picking me up in another 20 mins. so i am likeee:D so tired. expecially the bag i am carrying..

anyways. end of today's post(:

all these days i have been trying very hard to not keep a eye contact with you.
when you walk by and when i walk by your class. i kept my eyes straight and not turn and look for you. although sometimes i failed and i still looked. you must alwyas know. i will be there for you. at least, my heart will be. remember that.

kohyii(:
you know what, you freakingly rock my life to the max.

2011-02-23T03:12:00.000-08:00

today was quite of awesome.
preparing for the mini talent showcase for class.
cherographing a dance for the song "down"
i can say it is rather successful or unsuccessful though.
but at least i planned for the one mintute of the song during 2 hours(:
MUHAHAHA.
AND I SERIOUSLY FIND IT HARD TO DO SOOO.
but i am not giving upp(:
yepps weijie DRAGGED brendan to the mirrow, where we are dancing. and i am kinda of like.. stop dancing. reason being is quite obvious right?!
LOL.
then my mummy, kelly, HHHA. said. i am soon going to dance infront of hundreds of people. and it is soon going to be true! OMG.
couldnt think of what might happen during that day luh. stressful><
yepps.
LOL.
i know i claimed that NO. I DONT LIKE BRENDAN! but in my heart, it is a completely different story. but always.
why is that, when i am finally soon, perhaps going to get over you. you give me a reason not to?!

~no one ever gets tired of loving, but everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming and hearing promises, saying sorry, and all the hurting.~

2011-02-21T05:52:00.000-08:00

today was the ballet dance thing. till 6 pm. i was totally tired out. because of yesterday party and i slept late. and i still had to stay in school for 12 hours. that can kill... >.<. LOL.
okk.
ermm. yesterday was fun. but then when i asked kian huang why brendan didnt come.
he said. brendan gave ALOT of excuses not to come.
i was like. .... he hate me that much meh?!
thennn. okk. nvmm.
ending of stuff related to brendan for yesterday(:
this morning i was talking to don. but then i dont know what is happening behind me.
then i am likeee.
when i turned behind.
kian huang and zachary is trying to push brendan teo to me.
then i am like.. escapeee!:D LOL. i did(:
thennn... after that i am like.. HAIIZ..
thennn today, after going back from school bus from esplanade(where ballet is held)
i saw brendan teo.
he is like right infront of the canteen.
then i ate maggie mee in school(:
thenn... he was still there.
there. claudia went and talkt o him.
that is when i know some horrible stuff.
a few weeks ago, i learnt from jeremy that alot of money has been missing from 1 charity clasroom, all $5 dollar notes.
first, they think it was the girl chairman, because she is always seen taking people's bag as what i heard. but i dont know why the hell they accused of brendan siah! i mean like. brendan can be playful at times. but he dont do such things!
they even gave brendan detention when they HAVE NO EVIDENCE OF BRENDAN STEALING THE MONEY. and you know what is the stupid reason they gave?
just because brendan has the keys to the classroom.
then i am like so what?! brendan dont even care less about being a vice chariman of thaat class! then now they dont trust him!? wth?! shouldnt they trust their chairman and vice chairman?!
freaklying wth. but if i seriously know who did this and let so many people innocently being accused. i will be angry at him MENTALLY.
then after i went home by my dad's car. we went to buy chicken rice from 805. then i saw brendan and his brother walking out.
then later i am like.. haiiz. hope brendan can walk past my car... i was just hopping. and god answered it(: brendan walk past!:D HAHHA. and i am like looking or rather staring... ><. because i never knew he used the route before. then after that, he turned around because his brother said he took the wrong side.
but there he goes(: appearing and dissappearing(:

kohyii.

2011-02-18T06:19:00.001-08:00

seriously. i dont know what is wrong with me siah.
everybody is like...lalala lelele. theheh.
okk. kohyi. chill.
kian huang told me he like me too much.
jeremy says he hate me.
but i have learnt my lesson.
things is not going to be again.
and however how hard i tired.
i think.
instead of getting you back.
i am only hurting myself more.
so i will stop.
one day. you wont matter anymore.
but when will that day arrive?
i am tried of waiting and waiting.
expecting one day you will come by my side.
i got enough and i am tired of waiting.
you are there.
flirting with girls. talking comfortably with them.
and here. i am .
struggling not to be jealous.
i dont know how long was i supposed to stay jealous.
but i know. it will never stop. perhaps. that is really the end.
isnt it stupid? it suppose to stop 1 year ago anyways.
it is always me.
that keep trying.
and you keep walking away.

an impossible love. yet i am still waiting.
foolishly.

kohyii.

2011-02-18T06:04:00.000-08:00

~You know he loves you when someone else makes you laugh, and he smiles just for the fact that you’re laughing.
~In your absence my heart grows stronger. In your presence I fall in love again
~Like an old photograph: Time can make a feeling fade, but the memory never fades away
~Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we loved them, it'd kill us
~Pretending I don’t care is much easier than being vulnerable. But it keeps driving people away.
~i miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day
~When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most
~You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.
~No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends
~Love is like a bar of soap. You think you have it but then it slips out of nowhere
~You can keep my heart 'cause I couldn't imagine giving it to anyone else.
~You're not worth my tears, you're not worth the truth, you're not even worth my time, but for some reason my heart is falling for you.
~Sometimes it’s better to push someone away, because there comes a point that you have to shield yourself from pain.
~You`ll never know how much you mean to me..
~Even though I remind myself that we'll probably never be together...I still won't let myself fall for anyone else.

2011-02-16T03:11:00.000-08:00

HAHHA. dance was really awesome today uh!:D
HAHHA. learn the dancee. quite wild. HAHHA.
OKKKK.
i wrote in my facebook. and i said that i am SO going to forget brendan.
reason being. i will tell you soon(:
MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW:D.
but due to school. i couldnt celebrate it on the actual date. so i am bringing it forward to the 20th. which is coming sunday(:
and i gave the invitation to brendan, kian huang and zachary ng and jeremy(:
but guess what brendan did.
he asked kian huang to return the invitation to me!
i was like. wth.
i doubt he even opened that thing.
and then. i dont know i heard it from who. but his reason was that he need to cut his hair?! i am like. cut hair need 7 hours?!
if he really wanna give excuse then give like.. he got chruch or tuition or guitar LUH!.
then i am damn supery angry. i torn the invitation away and threw it away.
brendan, seriously. that thing i gave you. you can freaking throw it away.
anyways. to you. it doesnt matter anymore.
go like that chairman or jolyn bah.
and get off my freaking mind.
><
i am going to forget you.
if i cant.
i can ask for transfer!
i dont care.. just that you are freaking getting off my mind.

what a sad day.
anyways. i am going to stay cheerful. i am not letting you ruin my day and excitment for tomorrow!:C
hope tomorrow. kian huang they all dont say things bout brendan because i supposed it will dampened my spirits.
anddd natasha is going to give me a suprise tomorrow:D
HAHA.
:D

kohyii(:
looking forward. not to you anymore.

2011-02-14T05:37:00.000-08:00

omgomg. i passed it to him. like finally.
but i dont know whether he opened it or threw it away><
i only know..
i went to his class.
and natasha called kian huang out to help me pass it to him.
i didnt stand outside the classroom and like.. look at his expression.
but shu hui help me look.
she says. after kian huang passed the present to him. he smiled and immediately put in his bag><
HAHHA.
LOL.
i dont know why..
but it made me hyper for the whole dayD:
but just now i talked to him in facebook.
he didnt reply.
last time. he did.
but now..
he didnt even bothered.
I WAS LIKE. omg. is giving him the box a wrong decision??
:C

haiiz.
today i went to school.
then natasha they all is like..
o.O.
kohyi got valentines present.
i am like.
staring at a 3 heartshaped cookie.
thenn.
there got one note saying it is from brendan.
i looked at it and i know already..
definitely not from him.
1. he doesnt use 0.38 pen. he uses G2.
2. his handwriting is so much different.
soo. i can predict it is not from him.
but yuh. i am right:D
i went past his class.
and saw all the girls that has it.
i am like. O.O.
even when i know it is not from him.
there is still a part of me that is praying that it is from himmm...

i never changed.
he is ignoring me now.
HOW?!

kohyii(:

2011-02-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

heyyD:
sorry for not updating yeah?
i did tried to online plus doing stuff.
but secondary life aint as easy.
in 1 humility isnt that good either.
anyways.
tomorrow is 14:D
HAHHA.
soo.
should i give the 1000 hearts and stars to him tomororw?
i know it is impossible alrdy..
i am really trying hard to forget you. trying to walk past you without looking at you.
but sometimes, when you are far.
i couldnt resist but to see you smile and being happy with your friends.
sometimes i hope i can just be your normal friend.
just normal.
so i can play with you.
talk crap with you.
laugh with you.

but it became impossible.
we were so close before.
but why. now? i dont know. i dont want to know either.

i went back to my november and october and december 2009 posts.
then i realised. i didnt mentioned bout you.
not at all.
it is only when january starts and i started missing you.
then i started saying you in ALL my posts.

but.. it doesnt matter to you anymore.

kohyii.

2011-02-10T05:01:00.000-08:00

yesterday i was using my phone to type out when i was about to sleep.
soo..
yuh.
it was kinda of short><
MUHAHHA.
yepps.
today, brendan and our class boys went for badminton match.
against some strange boys school.
and it is at dovan?!
i am like..
omg.
dont go luh.
but the thought of going and see brendan play badminton makes me want to go.
i was in the name of going and supporting my class when my main porpose was actually going there and see badminton brendan.
LOL.
hehhe.
i evil siah.
using the name of that to to the stuff of the opposite.
yuh.
you know....
HAHHA.
LOL.
we went there and was like .. "intruding to that school"
then. was like . OMG.
it is boys school and it is hundreds times of hihs size!!
it is so freaking big. that it doesnt make you wanna walk there at all.
LOL
HAHHA.
then in then end.
i went to the hall, their hall and saw BRENDAN:D:D
then i dont know his reactions luh. because soon after that... the stupid coach says what no other people allowed.
i was like.
wth?!
WE CAME HERE LIKE BY 1HOUR MRT THEN NOW YOU TELL ME CANNOT.
><
kill him.HAHHA.
LOL.
if i can...
HAHHA.

THEN.
in the end.
after some stupid stuff.
we went back to hougang and i ate snow ice.
then they ended their badminton game and came and find us.
i think is my class badminton boys go take brendan come. like freaky seriously and then he saw me. he go away..

i am like..
he hate me that much uh?
haiiz.

kohyii(:

2011-02-09T09:10:00.001-08:00

I hope things can be like today(:
Went to science centre. And yuh. With their class too. But we went diff ways except for when we have our break(: today stayed In school to wait for my sister. Then. Claudia and I and huiyi- my last time friend went to the "space" and saw bteo they all(:
Then later. Some went to Mac. Then I am like. Oh noo. Kohyi. You are stalking brendan>.€!!
HAHa. But we still went.
Shamelessness.:D
HAHA.
Anyways. I just hope things can be like today. Looking at him in front like really infront of me(:

2011-02-02T06:41:00.001-08:00

i guess you people are still a little bit confused over my matter:D
okkk
ermmm.
that day. i was informed by jeremy and kian huang on both fb and msn and sms that brendan liked another girl which is secondary 3... and that girl is a PSL. psl means. peers support leaders. which is likee.. to take care of the secondary ones ones:D LOL. thennn.. yuhh. they said that.. brendan liked her and say she is chio which means pretty... and thenn jeremy said.. "he seems to like her alot, and she like him too" then i am like.. so what now? they together?!
thenn.. i cried in the toilet for like... 30 min..... yepps.. emotionalll><
okkk..
ermmmmmmmm. thennn. i went to sleep.
then after that. the next day. i went to school... and then i walked aimlessly round the corridor... then after that.. i squat beside natasha and i started crying... tears droppingg... ><
i dont know what is wrong with me alsooo. and then.. that whole afternoon.. which consists of.. compo test and science test. i was damn distracted>><<
thenn...
yuh.
that night. i went to ask bteo on fb.
"eh. you like that psl uh? jeremy and kian huang said do.. and you two are together? true? false?"
he replied . of cos not.then he is like.. "she is like secondary 3?"
thenn... he said "dun u ever learn your lesson?" "you can never trust them"
yuh... but.. why is he saying dun i ever learn my lesson?
positive thinking - he is dissapointted that i dont trust him and kept thinking he like other girls
negative thinking- he finds me annoying?

then after that.. i was very happpyy. because what jeremy and kian huang said wasnt true..><
HAHHA.
then.. after that... i was chatting with martin. then martin told me that... brendan says that psl is chio and he kinda like her
then i damn angry. cause not the problem that he like hher.. but the problem . is ..why he lie to me?!
thne i kinda of like asked him in sms. i wasnt expecting any answers from him. as usual. but in the end. he did reply(: butt.. i replied back and i got no reply back..>.<
okk.. thenn...martin by then then tell me that or makes me think that i might misunderstood him because... he might be referring to adeline > which is a girl that jeremy likes..~
soo i am like.. damn confused.
then today in school.. when i saw him.. he like.. no smile.. for the whole day.. he didnt smile. as far as i CAN SEE...
thenn... haiiz.
seriously. what does he want to play now?!
then.. i dont know what the hell did ted told him when we reached our primary schools to find our teacher siah!. and because of what he told brendan..
brendan went home straight after that...
without even visting the teachers! i am like.. seriously?! what did he tell him?!
ted claimes to only tell brendan this sentence "she still have feelings for you"
but.. impossibly. he couldnt have go home because of that right? then..
i am like. damn angry.... cause i really dont know where or why brendan leaves..
then ted claimes that he know brendan well. and it is good for the long run.
i am supery angry
i said something like these...
"good?! he is going to ignore me like hell! just like he always did! then i asked him.. so what can he do bout it?! " his reply was " i am not supposed to tell you that" then i am like "you cant tell him simply because you dont even know the answer.!" then he said it is for the long run.. and said good luck to me..
even thinking of it now. i feels like strangling him.
okkk!?

brendan, i dont know if i really did misunderstood you. but i am really sorry if i did. i felt angry because of the fact that you lied. but perhaps. maybe you didnt. i forgeotten how much i do mean to you. i mean 0%... so you shouldnt even have cared bout me. you are right.. but i do continue like you. not that i will stoppp. but ... if you asked me to.. i will. beccause everytime i asked. you dont want to reply. not a yes not a no. soo. i am sorry but i really cant read your mind.. please tell me how you feel....

sorry if i hurt you.

kohyi

2011-02-01T05:25:00.000-08:00

HAHHA. good news to readers. bad news to haters!:D
i am NOT going to close down my blogg!:D:D
HAHHA.
it was all a stupid misunstanding.
his friends bluffed me><
i know i am so stupid enough to fall for it and cried in the toilet for half an hour..
but seriously, that doesnt matter..><
i know i am foolish enough to believe all those stuff.
and..
yuhh.
stupidenough to fall for it over and over again><
yepps..
><><><><
and yeah.
how do i knoww.
because i asked brendan personally through facebook.
he told me ..
of coz not.. then after a few stuff.
he said. where did i hear it from.
i said his friends...
then..
he said " dun you ever learn your lesson?"
i said..
surprisely. noo.
i can never do so.

thenn.
i asked my friends..
he said the reason he said :dun you ever learn your lesson"
is because. he is dissapointed in me.. for not trusting him...
but seriously. think in my point of view.
i am liking a guy that actually ignores me and i dont know what he is thinking!
soo. it is only the friends that is around him that tells me what to do.
so i believed them...

and today.. after i wen to school.
i was walking aimlessly around the corridor..
and...
i squat beside natasha and i started crying. tears droping..
i dont know what is wrong with me. the whole morning..
i couldnt concentrate.
i tried to avoid his eyes.
but i know i couldnt.
he controls everything.
but even if he still likes me.. so what?
we can never be back to what it was in the past..
but if he doesnt like me.
i will never find a reason to live.

kohyii...

2011-02-01T01:08:00.000-08:00

Today.. Right after I go to school... I cried. I squat down beside natasha
.. And I cried... She might feel surprise.. Because she didn't know what hPpen to me... But now, I am alright.... I asked someone.. She said, it is not that kinda of like.. It is like.. Like as a brother. So now wHat? Does brendan likes her is the question in my head...
I cried alot yesterday regrading this matter... And now. I dont know. Should I believe what brendan's friends told me? Or should I believe that someone?

2011-01-31T06:43:00.000-08:00

Brendan likes her, she likes him. They are together.
I would never ever bring myself to believe it. Sorry that it was supposed to be a good starting for you. But it is the bad ending..
The things and words that meant for me. Is now for her.
Guys. I am going to close down this blog. Thanks for all the thing s and views I got. But it is the end. On my birthday, 17-02-11. Thi blog will be closed down.

2011-01-31T03:58:00.000-08:00

Brendan likes someone elses already. I am no longer in his life anymore..
How do I hope I can rush out of the road right now and die. Let that pain overcome my fear.

2011-01-27T04:47:00.001-08:00

hmph.
what happened to me?:D
yuh.
i might be going off for afew days then on again>><
HAHHA.
LOL.
hmph.
okkk...
my facebook said..
"i am just daring enough to look at you from afar, seeing you smile. i am contented"
yesh.
i will always be noticing him and looking at him from afar only when he is not looking.. but when we are close like i walk past him..
i will turn to the other side.
i dont know why.
i couldnt explain that either..
if anybody of you could. could you please tell me the reason why?

and kian huang they all. always tell me likee..
today he talk to chairman , then they laugh and smile lehh><
i will always be like..
super jealous..
but jealousy is a ugliest trait.
and it is a sin.. and..
yuh..
i will be like..
why arent it be me that he is with?
but sometimes..
i guess.
perhaps.
sincerly.
he is better off without me.
he seems more active and outgoing now..
with the girls.
maybee.
really.. without my presence..
he feels betterr.

but i have only one one one small request..
which is.
i dont want him to one day forgets who is koh yi.
but i wished i would one day forgets who is brendan teo.
maybe.. involved in an accident and forgets who and what he means to me.
which i know i probably cant.
soo.
i would wait for that one day..
either he came back or i turned away and forgets.... but will that day ever come?
i really dont know..

kohyii. i am contented.. if you are happy. i am happy(:

2011-01-25T00:45:00.000-08:00

yorhs:D
HAHHA.
ermm.
today was quite quite happy uhh:D
HHHEEE:D
because right.
min hui and hui yi damn funny:d
they say they wanna talk to brendan.
then.
during recess.
brendan was alone sitting at the table><
HAHHA.;
then i joked with them.
goo luh. he over there.alonee.
then after saying i walked away(:
i went to buy my greentea!:D which is quite far.
then when i walked the same distance back.
they then talk finish siah.
HAHHA.
then i asked them what they asked and what is his reply..><
HAHHA.
the first thing i asked them was.
"he smiled through out right?" HAHHA.
AND THE ANSWER IS YES!:D
muhahhha:D
i knwe it:D
HHHEE:d
SO CUTEEE:D
hhaha.
then i asked them wat they asked..
they ask
"whether i am pretty anot" plus "whether he like me." his answer was "must i annswer it?" then hui yi said yesh.
then brendan says "what if i dont?" then huiyi said "then i take away your ricee"
HAHHA.
then brendan smiled:D
HAHHA:D.
THEN another one was one insultive question.
which brendan kept numb bout it(:
HAHHA.
biut what i really want to know was..
"will he fall in love wth chairman in the coming years?"
but they didnt asked...
homeowkr..
lots not done><

hehhe:D:D:D

kohyii(:
waitingg:D

2011-01-24T06:53:00.000-08:00

Helllloooo0! :D
HAH. Today got Asembly. Then brendan's class sat infront of my mine.. And...>.<.
><.
Then I filled like.. So guilty to feel jealous..
I Felt that because it is like.. I means nothing to him now. Whereas like that past, if we two remains together.. I might have the status to feel jealous.. But now... Noo. I mean nothing to him.

Mean nothing...

2011-01-21T04:21:00.001-08:00

hello guys(:
he is finally back from sickness!:D
HAHHA.
glad he had recovered(:
hope he can take good care of himself and dont fall sick again!
today, in school, after school, we had all these cny decorations to make.
and i always will purposely walked by 1 charity and walked back again cause i want to see him(:
but jeremy caught me and asked me to go inside and say ilove you to brendan.
i was like.
giving excuses of like.. i cannot go into other classrooms leh!:D
HAHHA.
okk.
but today, as i am back from school.
i sat at the dinning table.
i saw an article.
it reads "baby died while lying on tummy"
and the baby was only four months old.
isnt it sad?
when he hasnt even learned to speak.
to talk.
he died.
but i still have the chance to talk, laugh bout life and thinking that i still have a lot of time with brendan.
but i had never think, if a day.. i will lose him.
the baby, hasnt even learned to talk, died.
i, learned so many words.. but i didnt use my mouth and say them out.
every ppl, every day, is dieing. and alot are dieing of regrets.
yet. i dont even know what is the next that will come.
i just kept waiting.
but life and death waits for no ones.
life like being giving birth.
babies wait for no one.
it can give birth anywhere. it doesnt wait for you to get to the hospital.
and death.
god dont grant you death only after you have no regrets in life.
isnt it sad?
soo, should i cherish the fact that i can still talk. and tell him how much he is worth to me?
but he doesnt cherish the fact that he can still talk, do he? he can just say a no
or a impossible yes.

cherish every fact that you are still living on this world(:

kohyii(:

2011-01-20T05:36:00.000-08:00

I am thinking... If Brendan really likes her one day.. And he is happy with her.. Then it is enough. Then I will be very much contented. Perhaps sometimes I will feel jealous. But I think, my heart will be feeling, if he is happy, I will be happy(:

2011-01-20T01:58:00.001-08:00

hellooo!:D
I heard alot bout the charity vice chairman and chairman.
which includes brendan(:
i message somebody, somebody in char.
and he know bout me and brendan.
as in.
he is from hips.
but i dont think i want to say his name(:
i told him that i saw the both chairman outside the classroom talking very happily.
then he told me that it is only bout the class deco only.... then i said . but he is obviously ignoring me!
then he said he is shy.
then blahblahblah contents.
i dont know why.
but he gave me the hope to continue liking brendan.
it is not brendan that gave me the hope to continue.
it was his friend!
so, isnt it weird?
that guy still says that somedays, he will show his love.
i asked.
by when?
he said.
by poly or Jc.

then..
the very next day.
i heard bout the comfirmation bout the liking of the chairman to brendan..><
so i begin to compare.
they will be in the same class for at least two years, they talk everyday,
but me and brendan? we dont?
and so,
i was like.
i am willing to wait till poly or jc.
but is he willing to resist all the girls temptation?
is he going to confess even after poly of jc?
will he stop liking me?

anyways.
brendan hasnt been coming to school today and went home imeediately after recess.
i went to hougang mall yesterday and i bought a keychain B for him, i wrote a letter to me too..><.
get well soon, brendan.

kohyii.

2011-01-18T03:59:00.001-08:00

helloooo:D:D
yeah.
today was kinda of sad.
i had to make a dicision between dance, netball or band.
><
but in the end,
dance was still my final choice.
i hope i dont regret it in the future.
but just tomorrow.
GOT DANCE PRACTISE LIAOOO! i wanna study.
thursday, there is a commom test><
HAIIZ.
really had to choiong my studyy?!
OH NOOO.
I DONT WANT LUH.
HAHHA.
jordan's birthday yesterday was freaking aweeesommmee:D

kohyii.
i dont know how long was i going to wait.
but i am telling you. i am willing to wait forver.
for you to come back.

2011-01-17T06:08:00.000-08:00

quite alot of things happened in school to me. today morning, we went for hall for asembly, then although brendan was not like really infront of me.
cause his class was like sitting in front of me(: then because he like not sitting in front of me(: but later, kian huang, jeremy, zachary, and others, pushed brendan infront of me... ><
HHHAHA. >< then brendan is like.. keep laughing or so(:
HAHHA. LOL lahhs(: HAHHA:D
then later the chairman of his class which is like the monitress.
like..
asked brendan go back to class or take the key and open the door.
then brendan is like.
wanna go.
but jeremy they all scared that like.
later he come back then wont sit back the same place.
LOL.
so they kept him down till brendan have nothing else to do except for passing the key.
but the chairman is like, keep wanting him to go to the classroom.
LOL:D
then i was like.
HHAHHA.
seeing and enojying the fact that he is being forced and the enjoying the view of the smile and DEEP dimples(: HAHHA:D
hahha:D
later.. quite alot of happy things ahappened.
then a plan came out>they are like whispering to each other some stuff between zach and jeremy and kian huang.
and i know i can sense something.. dangerous. LOL.
then..
yuh.
ecpected things do hapens(:
HAHHA:D
they are like.
pushed brendan all the way back.><
and i crossed down my leg up immediately.
LOL:D
i am smart lehh:D
HAHHA.
but brendan back hit my leg.
BUT GLAD NOT THE INJURY!:D.
HAHHA:D
THEN later, quite of the end of the story as we had to leave the hall.
HHAHHA.
but later..
hmph.
i only know.
he was in the space after school till some time and then went to play.
always see him around school.
i dont know if i am the one stalking him
HAHHA:D
LOL.
:D
somebody told me something that lifts my hopes up.

CCA:D
i wanted dance.
my sister, elder sister and mum wanted me to join netball.
but freaking luh.
i am going to spent 4 years with my CCA. and they wanna me choose something that i TOTALLY HAD NO INTEREST IN?!!?!
somemore, they said it as if i dont have a mind of my own to decide.?!
and wait..
out of 44 girls for the audition. and 11 was choosen.
and i was one of them.
those who didnt even have a chance, and wanted so much to get in, they couldnt.
and yet?! i got a chance. and my family is stopping me to go?!
i enjoyed dance. SO WHY MUST I GO NETBALL?!

kohyii.
today i was walking down the corridor. and i saw brendan with the chairman.. they are like talking like very happy. and i walked passed. brendan still turned the head over.,, ><

kohyii. chill!!

2011-01-13T05:16:00.001-08:00

helloo(:
yuhh.
today was the tsupid photo taking:D
HAHHA.
LOL.
i know my height(:
154cm(:
hehhhe:D
min hui was 158cm and hui yi was 153cm(:
hmph.
i think i am SOON getting used to my secondary life.
just that more homeworks..
blahh.
tomorrow there is a stupid english test...>.i hate testsss!
okk.
ermmm.
yuh.
thenn.

i started wondering.
i changed my spectacles for a very long time alrdy.
but i started wondering.
have he ever noticed that i changed my spectacles?
maybe not.
because i feels that he really dont want to see me much.
because, when his friends saboed him.
he dont want to turn and look at me.
he always want to turn back or fight back off.
i was like.
we are in diff classes now.
brendan, you dont get to see me often.
you really dont want to just take a look at me?
just a look is enough.
but, never.
i had never seen you looking at me.
just for even 0.1s.
noo...

sometimes, the actions you did, can hurt me deeply.

kohyii.

2011-01-12T02:38:00.000-08:00

helloo ppl(:
i know i have been skipping posting these days(:
but it was because, i need to do my work, or when my work is finish. i only find my sister is using the computer.
secondary life is much more complicated than i thought it will be.
but anyways, christian highfield is just so handsome(:
but inside of me,
btyz more handsome(:
MUHAHHA.
LOL.
okkk(:
ermm.
the camp was awesome, and i find myself noticing btyz more.
i cheirsh each and every chances i have to see him.
especially now we arent in the same class>.<
soo, i look at hime whenever i can,
when i walk past his class, or during recesses(:
and then,
today, his class walked past my class.
so, his friends which was my hips friends too,
they kept like..
kohyi ehhh!(:
then brendan was like. avoiding and laughed and walk away(:

i am sorry to say that i might be stopping this blog, or going off for a period. bacause of studies and exams.
soo, i hope my tagboard will continue to be alive(:
and i will reply from time to time(:
i will make a effort to post using my phone or computer(:

have you ever once wondered just how much i need one more chance from you?

kohyii(:
6.45pm:D

2011-01-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

helloooo(: LOL.
hmphhh.
yuh.
shopp for the whole day.
that leave my injuries more painful! argh.
LOL.
yuhh.. PAIN TTM.

2011-01-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

i just want you to know, i wouldnt turn back and walk away.
i will stay at where i was, and wait.
for you.
to turn back.
and come back for me.

kohyii(:

2011-01-08T03:33:00.000-08:00

okkk.
my injuries is starting to heal(:
hmph.
okk.
i shall tell you guys bout campp(:
LOL.
camp was really really awesomeee(:
LOL.
hmphhh.
the food was awesomeeeeee too(:
everything bout camp was awesome(:
first day, we had this hi trial, we went all around hougang like an amazing race, but of coz, much easier.
but the difference was that, we didnt had our phone and money or bus card with us!!
yesh.
we have to walk..
but it was awesome too(:
the night walk wasnt awesome, not at all!
all the scary things came out.
is like.
keep shouting and shouting siah!!.
okkkayy.
i made new friends.
and i met up with a shuai ge!(:
LOL.
his name was christian highfield.
lol.
BUT TO ME,
brendan was much more handsome.
LOL.
hehhheXd.
anyways.
today i went to school.
i kinda of sit infront of him.
for two times.
then his friends that are friends of mine.
is like./
keep saying.
LOL.
and now i am really tired.
yawns.
i need a proper sleep.
SERIOUSLY.
1 humility.
you rock(:
brendan, you rock the doublee(:

woohoo(:

kohyi.

2011-01-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

hellooo...
yeahh.
i know i didnt blog for days.
but i got reason okk?:D
i went for camp.

ANYWAYS, I FELL DOWN.
HURT MY KNEE AND MY ELBOW.
AND IT IS FREAKING PAINFUL!
but seriously..
the pain, is like..
overwhelmed...
because i hasnt fell for months..
i dont know how long ..
but it is seriously VERY PAINFUL.
cried..
yeah.
i know i 13 years old liao lahs..
but it is seriously PAINFUL
VERY AND SUPER PAINFUL!!
i cried quite a lot..
seriously..
the pain i suffered from the ignoring from him was much much painful.
believe me.
tthis pain cant be descirbe.
it was a silience kinda of pain.
but this type of pain can kill someone.....
omgoodness... blood, cream. OMGG. i am so going to die!

okkk. nooww, i couldnt think of all the things that happend in the camp..
because all i can think of was..
PAIN, PAIN, GO AWAY..
TELL YOU GUYS TOMORROW?
I WILL IT DOWN.
HOPE I DONT FORGET ANY POINTS(:

KOHYI.
pain, pain, go away.

2011-01-02T22:10:00.000-08:00

Still framed photographs of you and me together
Is all I have of you and me anymore
We were so in love and we thought it'd last forever
But in the storm, we were torn

Chorus:
And I won't forget you
I don't regret you
But the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away

I tried without you
Cried about you
Now turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you
And I promise I will make you want to stay

I'm digging deep to find a way that we can both be
Rapped up in each other's arms for one more day
We've had our time to think we're still feeling empty
When you say that you won't stay

And I won't forget you
I don't regret you
But the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away

I tried without you
Cried about you
Now turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you
And I promise I will make you want to stay

I'm sorry for all I did
What I said
And the things I hid
I'm finally over me
The past is through

I can't imagine where I'd be
If you had never rescued me
You gave me hope to live, now I need you
'Cause I need you now

And I won't forget you
I don't regret you
But the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away

I tried without you
Cried about you
Now turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you
And I promise I will make you want to stay

2011-01-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

How did we ever come to this
I never thought you'd be
Someone I'd have to miss...
And there I was caught in your game
Needing answers that never came
And we took a chance,
You said you were strong
Strong enough
But you were wrong...

And now I'm...

Deafened by your silence
Blinded by the tears
If you're looking for forgiveness
You won't find that here
Cause you lied your way to heartbreak
And now it's all too clear
That you will never be...

Look at her
She won't ever compare
You can say you're sorry
But I still don't care
Was she worth this mess
Was she worth this pain
You can say it's her fault
But you're both to blame

And now I'm...

Deafened by your silence
Blinded by the tears
If you're looking for forgiveness
You won't find that here
Cause you lied your way to heartbreak
And now it's all too clear
That you will never be...

Looking back it was all so easy
I hope you know you're my last mistake
Don't come around and say you need me
I won't stay

Now I know that you were so deceiving
Was it fun for you to walk away
I hope you liked it
Cause she's so damn easy
You won't change

And now I'm...

Deafened by your silence
Blinded by the tears
If you're looking for forgiveness
You won't find that here
Cause you lied your way to heartbreak
And now it's all too clear
That you will never be...

2011-01-02T22:03:00.001-08:00

Missing you isn't the problem, it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me.

2011-01-02T21:32:00.000-08:00

hellooo!:D
tomorrow is the reopen of school!:D
well, i dont know whether to be happy or sad!!
cause.. happy, that boredom is finally over.
but sad because.. all the stress and stuff will be coming in..
But i think should be both.
NOW, i am learnning to act and pretend very normal when i am with him.
or close him.
i am going to act like i am fine without him.
although. it clearly stated in my mind that i am not.
because i am trying really hard.
i dont need another prince charming to come into my life.
i need my strength to come back.............
so that, i can over you..

kohyi.

2011-01-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

hello guys.
i know i am kinda of losing my taggers.
cause of my uninteresting post.
but i just found out something interesting.

why do we fall in love?
we fall in love because,
inside us,
there is a science chemical.
then,
when a guy and a girl walk together.
this chemical becomes stronger, that is when the love went deep.
and then, finally.
fall in love with each other.
i suppose that is when, me and btyz was together,
perhaps. this chemical did happened.
but also..
perhaps.
it only happens to me.
not him.
maybe that is also why he forgets me so easily.
because right from the start.
perhaps, maybe, he wasnt in love with me.
the chemical didnt do anything that makes him love me.
maybe it was all a play.

kohyii.

2011-01-01T04:10:00.000-08:00

yorhs ppl:D:D
LOL:D.
ENGERYLESS.
soo, how are you guys?:D
fine?
good?
happy?

but looks like i have none of those.
anyways..
i am trying for the audition for dance cca,
cause. i love dance.
but i am just very scared that i didnt get in.
but i am going to tryyy.
if i didnt get in.
then perhaps.
i will join netball.
not perhaps.
but sure join.
because, my parents object to me joining dance is because.
they are scared that i will become ahlian.
.....
i am also scared.. actually....
but i better dont become one!!.
LOL.
noooo.
i better dont.
i must studyyy!:D
woots!:D
study all the wayy:D

kohyii(:

2010-12-31T22:08:00.000-08:00

yorhs guys! happy new year:D
this year, i guess will fast be over.
just like 2010.
but some things jus cant be forget.
no matter how hard i try.
it just cant.
happy new year, in the new year.
i wish, all my wishes come true..
what they are.
i will only you guys when it came true:D

kohyii. hoping, praying, waiting.

2010-12-31T05:53:00.001-08:00

yorhs!:D
computer finally come back to life manz!:D
LOL.
today is the 31st.
yeahh..
another year is gone, but my love remain strong.
i dont know when it is going to end.
maybe not going to.
because it is going to last quite forver.
bought a strawberry tee.
and i did my spectacles.
HAHHA.
for a new year?:D
WOOTS.
dont know whether you will notice me, my spectacles, notice that i am sorry and i changed.

kohyii.

2010-12-30T07:58:00.000-08:00

Just because I thought I will have you forever.. I didn't said all those mushy words that came from the bottom of my heart.
I thank god for having you by my side. It was a blessing from god. And I thing I didn't learn to cherish till then, that second and moment.
Because all and what I could have said will be. Thank you for that very moment. For that two months.
Thank you.

I am very scared now. Scared that I will forget all the memories that was meant to last forever..
I am scared that I will forget all the things you told me or SMS me.
I am scared that I will forget all the things you did for me.
I am scared that my memory will fade..
Don't.

2010-12-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

yorhs.
hihi:D
sorry for not posting yeah?
bought workbooks yesterday(:
hehhee:D
13 in all.

2 MATHEMATICS, need to buy more...
3 SCIENCES, need to buy more practise.
3 ENGLISH, i want buy moree.
1 HISTORY,
1 GEOGRAPHY
3 CHINESE, buy moree:D

now it is like alrdy the 30th.
it is soon the 31st..
and another year is gone, but my love remain strong.
my life is now filled with you, studies, piano.

kohyii.

2010-12-27T20:54:00.000-08:00

Brendan should be heading for badminton now...

2010-12-27T20:20:00.001-08:00

brendan finally talked, participate in the conversation i created 1 year ago with my sd5ians friends, yeah.....
thenn..
he kinda of started talking over there.
and i am not going to start talking over there.
cause...
i dont want brendan to not participate.
and the only way is.
i dont participate.

if in that way, he can be happy.
it is worth it.

ky.

2010-12-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

yorhs.
now is 12.04..
slept at 1.30 yesterday.
woke up like 11.30am?
:D
today.... i might go studying all day..
then....
i need to decide on some serious stuff...
guess it is going to be fast..

yeah.
BYEBYEE:D.

every single thing makes me think of you.
smile.

kohyii.

2010-12-27T04:09:00.000-08:00

i still remember..
me and my best friends, we all said goodBYE To hihs..
yet, i am the one ending up there.

2010-12-26T19:21:00.001-08:00

HELLOOO:D
okk.
the REAL bibiana has already explained to me that the bibiana on my blog, aint real.
well, the FAKE bibiana, i cant even figure out what all ** means.
nvmm, i dont want to care bout you, you are not welcome if you come my blog as a impost er.
i dont know why you like to ruin the frienship between me and my friends.
but i dontthink you can live with that sin. stop it.

and guys, hellooo.
i dont really care about that whatever thingy. as long as it doesnt affect the friendship between me and bibiana, i dont care!:D
anyways. had a really early night yesterday(: , slept at 9pm:D woots:D:D
and woke up at 10.30am. HEHHE. that is more that 12hrs:D

jordan told me he dreamt of a girl in his dreams. he said that girl was one of a kind, i dont know whther to feel really happy for him or not.
cause it is a dream... just like how i dreamt of brendan and i together. it will never happen. i know. but his case was different.
although the posibility of his dream girl to appear in front of him was small.
i really hope that girl exist, and make jordan happy.

in the view of a friend(:

brendan, do you know how powerful you are?
i can think of how close we were in primary 5 and just cry.
you leave so much memories and moments to me.
but, why?
why can you forget how they all means to us?
now, they only mean to me.
because you threw the memories to the trash.to the bin. to the forget place.
because you forgotten to take me along with you.

kohyii.
11.39
27/12/10

2010-12-26T02:15:00.001-08:00

i want to give up.
i know how and what you feel for me.
stranger.
i know.
but.
something is still making me hold on.
and it is you.

i dont like to wait for people.
but i have already wait for you.
for a year.
and i know it is not going to end.
no matter how much i want it to end.
So, forgive me.

kohyii.

2010-12-26T01:28:00.000-08:00

yorhs guys(:
hahaa
had a really blast christmas party last night..
and my cousins, weijie, elaine, serena(:
we had really alot offunn.
andd.
we kinda of stayed awake till 7.30am in the morning:D
how cool was that larhs!!:D
ahha.
somemore, we only slept for 4.5h.
we woke up at 12pm.
HAHHA.
COOL AND AWESOME.
they went off an hour agooo.
yeahh.
love christmas ttm noww:D
love the white christmas, love the laugh, live, and love.

even if the white snow covers over your face, i will still know that it was you.
because we are connected. i am not giving up. yeah. i know. classes keeps us apart.
but i know my heart will always be next to you. be with you. no matter how long i wait. it wont go. i said so..

kohyii.
17.42.
26/12/10

2010-12-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

I went to facebook using my iPhone. Then I went to the chat place. I saw Brendan online...
Then, I whisper to myself...
Happy merry Christmas, brendan... Are you at the chruch.. Yeah. Pray.....
Merry christmas, laugh brendan. Live brendan, love Brendan.

Kohyii....

2010-12-24T19:05:00.001-08:00

right now, 2 people from singapore and 1 from malaysia is viewing my blogg(:
well, keep viewing, keep tagging:D
spread the word, spread the love:D

2010-12-24T18:40:00.001-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS:D WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR:D
woots(:
today happy to the max larhs:D
i am so going to try to put you OFF my mind:D
and enjoy myself ttm.
i know that i might, ren bu zhu and think of you.
BUT...
i hope it wouldnt be too longg:D
MUHAHHAA.
today.
cousins coming over:D
i am so going to enjoyy:D:D

love you guys ttm:D

2010-12-24T04:10:00.000-08:00

HAHHA. this is really cool.
today..
my pageviews was 18.
pageviews means, my blog was viewed 18 times today..
and not including myself,or when i go to blogger and click view blog(:
pageview yesterday was 20
last month was 572:D
all time history... 2.738:D can you believe ittt(:

then,., they have this audience thingy.
right now. somebody is viewing my blog(: using NetFront, browser. and sonyEricsson to view my blog.in singapore.
and today.
15 views from singapore(: and 10 from united states(: i had ppl using Firefox,NetFront,Safari,Chrome,Internet Explorer,Obigo,Version browser, pageviews by operating systems, windows, SonyEricsson, iPhone, LG, Nokia:D

this week, 108 from singapore, 11 from united states, 4 from malaysia, 2 from denmark and one from croatia:D:D:D pageviews from browsers.Internet Explorer,NetFront,Safari,FireFox,Chrome,Version,Obigo, from operating system.. windows, sonyEricsson,iPhone, Nokia, iPad, LG, macintosh, iPod.

this month, 495 from singapore, 44 from united states, 14 from malaysia, 9 from denmark,4 from russia, 1 from croatia, 1 from japan, 1 from netherlands, 1 from puerto rico, and 1 from thailand(: pageview by browsers.
Internet Explorer,NetFront,Safari,Firefox,Chrome,garmin-asus NuvifoneM10, Obigo,Opera,Version,
by operating systems... windows, SonyEricsson, iPhone, Macintosh, Other Unix, LG, nokia, iPad and iPod.
WOW.
all time, 2222 from singapore, 186 from untied states, 89 from united kingdom, 66 from denmark, 47 from canada, 20 from russia, 19 from taiwan, 16 from malaysia, 11 from germany and 10 from netherlands. Internet Explorer,Safari,Firefox,NetFront,Chrome,Java,garmin-asus-NuvifoneM10,JakartaCommonsHttpClient,Opera,Obigo,
from operating systems.
Windows,
iPhone,
SonyEricsson,
Macintosh,
Other Unix,
iPad,
iPod,
Nokia,
Samsung,
LG,
think they didnt include those under ten(:

HAHHA. LOOKS LIKE I DO HAVE VIEWERS(:

kohyii(:

2010-12-24T00:35:00.000-08:00

worhs(: happy merry christmas EVE(: HAHHA.
LOL.
was suppose to go out with sister to church, to find out more about christmas, but because i need to go to hihs to buy my books.
i cant gooo >.
anyways. i kinda of regretted getting a new screen protector.
seriously. Those using iPhones, please dont buy the mirror screen protector.
you will regret.. cause.. under the sun.
all you can see is urself.
you cant even see your messages.
can lurhs.
but harder.
cause it is like mirror refecltion.
all you can see if yourself.
and it is harder to play games.
cause i get distracted, looking at my own face.
:D

LOL.
wonder how is he doing right now..
tomorrow, having christmas party(:
going to receive some presentss(:
only a few. .. actually...

anyways..
now that i bought my books.
I AM SO GOING TO STUDY(:
HAHAHA.
i am not kidding okkays?:D
i will try.
my favourite subb.
MATHEMATICS(:
WOOTS:D

kohyii.
getting you off my minddd...

2010-12-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

Today was kinda of half awesome and half not really awesome(:
I kinda of hate hihs, when I step in hihs. I was thinking, why??? Yeahhh.. Then later then let me have the letters and blehblehh... And finally, I went to the board. And I looked at my class. 1 humility. I wanted to look for brendan's name.. But my mum wanna be get up the hall fast. After that.. I keep turning back from time to time to look at the entrance of the hall. Then finally, I saw Brendan, his super white unfirom and himself makes the spoting of him easier for me(:
Then I prayed hard that he will come to humility. But in the same time, I don't want him to.... Just right then, he walked down the stairs.. I was looking straight at him.. I was really nervous.. I didn't know why.. Was it because of the aircon that I was shivering.. Or the apperance of Brendan.... He walked down, and I think he kinda of saw me. Because I was looking at him.. Then, as I thought he caught my eye.. I looked back infront to the stage. I did looked back again.: then I found out he was posted to 1 charity..
Dissapointments. But at the same time. I felt scared... Totally scared and freaked out.. I felt like something.. Is inside me. Telling me " heyy! Brendan did all these to you, and you s care so much for him?!" but I don't know. I convince myself he was worth it. But then, all these came to my mind again..
Then, during the talk, I looked at him countless time..
But somebody was blocking.. But I can sense his laughter, that he can survive secondary school with jeremy(:
I was really glad he has a friend, at least.
But then I was afraid he fall for other girls.
I know I was selfish. Soo, I cleared out that thought almost immediately.
When all these was done. We went back to our classrooms..
We were all strangers..
Waiting to Self introduce, as our PSL said soo.
Thenn... We introduce ourselves.. Then.. We played some games.. And said some cheers.. But I wasn't really happy. I wasn't myself.. I didn't know why.
I didn't know how I was to cope without him, my friends..
I was scared that everybody was going to leave him like he did....
I was afraid that he was going to forget me completely...
When i was realeased.. I was like... Where is 1 charity?!!"
Then in the end, i received a call from mum.. Then I ran downstairs.
Then I saw Brendan lining up for the buying of textbooks(:. I wanted to convince mum to buy the books today.. But she said no. Thenn, I looked at Brendan, not a second was I willing to blink.... But he didn't saw me.. Why would he spend time to notice me?.....
But Brendan. I only have a request.
Don't totally forget who kohyi is.

Brendan, don't. Please don't.........

Kohyii.

2010-12-21T22:42:00.000-08:00

HELLOS GUYS.
i got into hihs.
which is extremly bad news.
i dont like hihs.
dont really know why i put it as my second choicee.
nan chiau dont wanna accept me siah.
DAMN.
xingwen says they increased from 321 to 324.
no wonder i cant get in. 232.
LOL.
haiiz.
was totally depressed when i know i got into hihs.

yepps.
still depressing.
anyways.
i cut bangs!
but i making it to side bangs..
totally unglam. to me..
but my sisters say it is nicee..

kohyi, >.

2010-12-21T08:59:00.000-08:00

Hellooooo!(:

2010-12-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

hellooo:D.
OMGG. IT IS JUST TOMORROWWW(:
HAHHA.
tomorrow, i will know which school am i posted to:D
nan chiau? hihs? LOL

haiz. i hope i will know which school he will get posted to..
impossible comes straight away to my mind.
......
i know i should hold on too much hope.
but. sometimes., i feel like stopping onto this stupid thing..,
i would if i could, as usual.

KOHYII(:

2010-12-20T07:59:00.000-08:00

yorhs guys(:
ha a good day...
SOSO....
HAHHA.
yeppps..
today i didnt really do any studying.
which is bad..
but i am planning for tomorrow.
hope i wouldnt spoil the plan.
hahhhaa:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

see ya guys tomorrow.
my blog is so dead..

kohyii(:

2010-12-19T21:54:00.000-08:00

HELLOO.
LOL.
was suppose to study for secondary life today.
but because, of the upcoming christmas party. and my mum still has lots of trash to throw away on our porch... so i guess today is not the day.
i dream a stupid dream of brendan again..
but i dont want to say it out.. because i know it is all my wishful thinking.

suddenly i remembered jonathan.
LOL.
he is my cousin.
dont think wild.
HAHHA.
\
kohyii(:

2010-12-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

HELLOOOO(: hahha. awesome(: awesome day out with mum and sister. yesterday, i went to vivo cityyy. and today, i went to bugiss(: MUHAHHA. bugis and bugis junction(: MUHAHHAA.
i just rob my mum for about $125. For all the things i bought in bugis(: but it is cheap and nice larhs(: HAHHA.
yesterday was about $60..
woots. going 200(: MUHAHHA.
cant blame meee. sis spent moreee!!:D
HAHHA.
seriously, now is shopping timee. especially it is christmas time(:
HAHHA.
i am so going to keep myself busyy...
so that i can get you off my mind.
though it is pretty impossiblee...

kohyi(: